[December] Review of learning

I am currently back home in Singapore. It is good to be home after being away this long for the first time in my life. I have pretty much allowed myself to take a break on this trip. I have very much expected people to be asking me about my experiences in London. Specifically, having to meet up with my employer, part of the conversations revolved around the learning I have been acquiring in London. After all, they took a big risk with me and it was quite natural that they wanted to know if the investment has been worthwhile.

I had initially thought about what I wanted to share with them. Despite it being an informal meet up, I felt the need to convince them that it was not play for me in London. It was difficult to put together my learning. After all, I did not suppose they will be very interested to know that I had learnt how Bateson had influenced the discipline with his contribution via cybernetics or that the original Milan team split to pursue their respective beliefs in family therapy. 

However, as the meeting went on, I realised that the best contribution I had brought back was the subconscious systemic thinking I was beginning to develop. As I listened in to the development in the clinical work that had taken place back in the office, I realised that I had been able to think about the challenges in a more systemic manner. While many things sounded as though they had linear causalities, I started to question the possible circularity that could be involved. I caught myself preaching about reflecting team, a concept taught in class and experienced during my placement. I explored the possibilities of having more distinctive roles between social workers and therapists and having them work in teams. In reality, social workers are expected to double up as therapists. When a family is assessed to require in-depth therapeutic work, they are referred to the counsellors within the organisation who are not trained in systemic work. In rare situations where a family sees both a social worker and a counsellor, the professionals' work with families are independent of each other; as though families could work on their family related issues totally exclusive of what happened in another part of the family system.  

I remembered walking away from the meeting feeling that I had showed my employers a brief glimpse of my development over the past three months. While it may not be significant at this moment, I liked what I had brought along with me to the meeting and I looked forward to sharing more during my next visit back home. 

[November] Placement

A sense of anticipation as I stand on the 4th floor where the family therapists are based at. 

The administrative work at the placement has finally been settled and I have started my time with Hackney Social Care (HSC).

My bad for not understanding what social service is all about when I first responded to Grace's email on my preference. Having understood social services from the Singapore's context, I had assumed that the same, if not, similar, structure applies. Social services are provided by charities in Singapore and I have came to realize that this is not the case in the UK! In fact, they are regulated by the government here. Having been a social worker working in charities for a good part of my professional life and having to return to the same sector after graduation, I thought it will be a good opportunity to experience the way services working with families here operate and bring the learning back to Singapore. Nonetheless, other than the governing of the services, I am glad that there has not been too significant a difference in the way services organised itself around families in need. 

I recalled the first thought when I stepped into HSC, "Wow!". Having spent years working in a small organisation with not more than 20 pax in the office, I was impressed with the mere size of this agency and more importantly, a sense that a lot of learning is going to take place at this place.

I had done some homework prior to my first visit and noted that HSC has been influential in establishing a systemic foundation for social work in the country. Being a social worker, that really excites me. Clinging very tightly to my familiarity with my identity as a social worker, it was comforting to know that I get to be in a place where I can interact extensively with both family therapists and social workers and see how these two professions come together to support a family. But yes, I have to constantly remind myself that I need to step out of my comfort zone in order to appreciate the best the programme, particularly the placement, can bring.

I started the placement with a number of nerve provoking concerns. Many of my fears revolving around my ability to fit into the context. I am a Chinese descent from an Asian country. A trainee having to deal with families who are possibly having conflicts with the system already. A female who has not donned a piece of lady's clothing since high school. Despite having English as a first language, brings with me an accent my fellow countrymen can identify me just by hearing me speak. Being unmarried and childless yet having to support families be more child oriented and child-safe. And what if I cannot remember or pronounce the names of the family members especially those from non English origin? Worst of all, what if I actually cannot catch what the family is saying? (Blame that on the long term exposure to American entertainment and the stereotype of the English accent!)

Many of these anxieties had proven itself inconsequential as I had conversations with my supervisor and participated in reflecting teams with her. I realized that many of these are self-imposed pressures. While GRRAACCEESS is a genuine consideration in our work with clients, it is important that I do not let them stand in the way of establishing a therapeutic relationship. The support and supervision from my supervisor allowed me to set aside a lot of my initial concerns.

I realized that ever I started appreciating GRRAACCESS and understand the role of power in systemic work, I began to view power differently. Previously, I saw it as an inevitable evil which I will have to tame. However, the appreciation of its facilitating and hindering forces led me to learn to work with it rather than against it. Particularly, Betrando's paper on having dialogues with clients led me to think how I can hold conversations around power issues such as what does it mean for the family when I am from a different ethnicity.

Ever since I started the programme, I have been hearing the word, "systemic". It baffles me a lot. Why is it that the tutors are emphasizing the uniqueness of the programme here as being systemic. I thought I had heard this word multiple times when I was having my social work training more than 10 years ago. The classic phrase, "person-in-environment" is akin to the living motto each social worker lives by. This idea never stops making its presence felt in my work. I wonder, am I going to learn something new here or it is a re-packaging of what I already knew.

I brought this curiosity to my supervisor at my placement when she asked me about my expectations. I asked her, being a social worker, I am unsure how do I draw the line between the scope of a social worker and a family therapy trainee. I am used to the expectation of a social worker having to take care of everything relating to a family's psycho-social and practical needs. Other than making sure that everyone in the family is not deprived of their basic needs, we are also expected to provide counselling to them in a bid to improve the family's lives. I had families coming to seek help for issues relating to parenting, domestic violence, marital and mental health. I am feeling confused. I do not know how is family therapy different from what I had learnt and practice as a social worker. I am hoping that through the programme and my experiences at the placement where there are actually separate job scopes for social workers and family therapist, I will get to learn more about the different professionals and how I can marry the tools I have in both areas to best support my work with families.

[October] A new beginning

“The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.” 

                                                                                            - Eleanor Roosevelt

My official first entry for the reflective journal. Decided to log my thoughts down in the form of blog entries. Like the flexibility that I can have on the computer where I can insert pictures and links along the way and the time stamp which accompanies the entries which will help me to track my specific thoughts at specific moments in this new beginning..

The programme has officially started. It has been a rather interesting couple of weeks. There has been quite a fair bit of ambivalence. The anxieties of being away from home for potentially the next two years; leaving behind everything that I am familiar and comfortable for the last 32 years. The excitement that brought me here; the exposure and learning of new ideas and skills in an area which I feel passionately about.

So far, things have been on a slow start. Did quite a fair bit of the development of family therapy over the past few weeks. I have to admit that some of the concepts are really way too abstract for me; a person who learns best when ideas can be illustrated through concrete application. I struggled with some of the readings having been out of touch with regular academic readings for an extremely long time.

Some of the models are familiar to me whereas some seem so foreign (and perhaps even difficult to envision them being helpful in reality) that I caught myself being close minded there. I reminded myself that I am here as a student. Having been in a position of relative power to many of my co-workers, I have ran into complacence. Or perhaps, that's just my insecurity talking? My discomfort with knowing that there are things that I do not know enough about? Regardless, I am making a commitment to myself that I will keep an open mind to my learning such that I am able to explicitly explain to myself the strengths and limitations of the different models instead of saying that I do not think that they suit my therapeutic stance.

The class seems to be really supportive so far. The tutors and classmates have been really warm and helpful. Having stayed in Singapore for my entire education journey, it has been an eye opening for me that I am having classmates from all over the world. In fact, the conversations so far have been so enriching that it is one of the things that keeps me excited about the learning I can acquire here. All of us have different professional and personal background and I really look forward to see how this will all look like as we come together as students in an area seemingly new yet not unfamiliar to many of us. What I really appreciate about the climate in the class so far is the seemingly lack of competition. Unlike my previous experiences in the classroom, everyone is sharing knowledge and respecting the different views each brings in. It seems as though we are supporting each other to grow in our respective ways as we embark on this journey together. That definitely alleviates some of my anxieties of being in a foreign land and a minority in many instances.

So far so good! This marks the first entry in my journal. Shall look forward to the last entry in time to come and see how much of this will still be relevant!