I felt that this month was a month of rollercoaster. The month started really poorly where I constantly felt that I did not know what I was doing during my sessions with clients and highly doubted myself. It did not helped that I found myself constantly returning to the conversation I had with the seasoned practitioner at placement last month. I am so close to the deadline of the application of the MSc programme that I really did not know if I should go for it.
Thankfully, while all these are happening, I managed to speak to several people who put me in the right place.
Made an appointment to meet Petra. She had been really encouraging and helpful in helping me process my emotions and lack of confidence. Among all, she sent me an article about my sense of feeling deskilled. It was a good read and I will include this in the portfolio. I felt so much more at ease; knowing that I am not alone in this experience. First hand experience in normalizing!
On top of that, the seasoned practitioner whom I spoke to also sat me down one of the days and said that he went back and thought about my questions to him. He drafted up a piece of reflections and wanted to share with me. I was extremely grateful to that. With this permission, I am reproducing it in my portfolio.
For some reasons, after these conversations, and some positive experiences both in the classroom and sessions, I felt way better about myself. I realized that this is possibly what others called growth. And isn't that what I am here for exactly!
To end of this month, I had finally put in my application for the MSc programme.
