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| Deflated |
With the lessons at the University, placements and supervision groups going on concurrently, I am starting to experience the pressure from it all. On a full week, I am seeing clients from Monday to Thursday with lessons in between. The amount of processing that needs to take place is compounded by the sheer load that I need to get my hands on.
While seeing clients have always energised me previously
whenever I felt overwhelmed with work, it is different now that I am under
training.
In comparison to previous years, the opportunities to
practice have increased significantly. Having three different supervisors who
are helping me to progress as a family therapist, I feel conflicted at times. I
have definitely benefited from the multiple perspectives that I have been able
to gather from the different expertise. At times, these inputs may differ and
in the extreme situation, contradict. With all these happening on different
days of the week, it had impacted on how I see myself as a family therapy
practitioner. With the load that I am having, I found it hard at times to have
the space and time to sit and process all of these.
It did not helped that I am experiencing some personal
difficulties currently which challenged my self-identity and am attempting to
seek professional help for it.
I found myself performing differently in different settings.
Quite naturally, I think I tend to perform better at settings where I feel more
confident and relaxed. It got me reflected on my need to be affirmed by others
and how when that does not come, it affected me.
I do not know if this is because of the happenings in my
life currently. I am looking forward to having the Christmas break so that I
can have some time and space to process all of these.
