[Special Edition - How to survive a Family Therapy Programme]

FAMILY

My small, quarrelsome but nonetheless, still family

The Mum who till today still does not know what I am studying.

Gathering for my brief return in August 2015

Stole a little break before the second year to
go home to celebrate Dad's 60th birthday.



FRIENDS

All the way from Primary School

To Secondary School

To High School


To University

WORKPLACE

My wacky colleagues


COMRADES cum EXTENDED FAMILY

We have someone who will always make us
take a picture before anyone can touch their food.

Have got no idea what were Zafer and Stella raising their hands for.

Ellie was really making sure that we absorbed what we needed for the exam.

You could tell that we were really trying our best to understand Ellie.

We really have people who enjoy acting a lot in the group!

Someone particularly enjoys playing
Minuchin whom she adores to bits!


The weeks that we spent a good 8-12 hours in the library...



Finding our own ways to manage distractions...



Doing our revision...

Dissertations...

  

The only time we spoke to each other were 

probably during toilet and meal breaks.

We always make sure that we make it a point to celebrate every milestone.
Well, that's basically the only time we can afford to give
our brain a break and reward it with a couple of drinks.





RESOURCES

It is all about coffee,

Coffee

And More Coffee!

Dissertation should have come with a warning for
people with emotional hunger.

And encouragement from loved ones.



A CRAZY BELIEF IN YOURSELF even when it seems ridiculous

Sometimes I think I have super power.

When I realised that I had chewed off more than I can. Spent half the time trying
to understand what the terms in the Chinese articles were about.

I spent so much time bugging Google Scholar for resources that
Google started to doubt who was behind the screen.

In order to be able to continue consulting Google Scholar, I need to show my worth.
To be able to identity mountains.



Took it a step further by scaling the mountain at Innsbruck.

HAVING DOWN TIME

Sometimes, it got so tiring that I tried to slow down a little,

And catch a little rest.

GUESS A HOUSE PET HELPS TOO

Someone arrived in the mail!

Sometimes, he tried to help although he had done a better job
at scaring me whenever I saw him in front of the laptop.

He tried his best to digest it all.
I guess maybe he thought diffusion would work better.

I guess he deserves a seat at graduation too.


and SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO...

The sculpture at Camberwell Park after one of those long days in the library.

Home (A National Day Parade song)

Whenever I am feeling low
I look around me and I know
There's a place that will stay within me
Wherever I may choose to go
I will always recall the city
Know every street and shore
Sail down the river which brings us life
Winding through my Singapore

This is home truly, where I know I must be
Where my dreams wait for me, where the river always flows
This is home surely, as my senses tell me
This is where I won't be alone, for this is where I know it's home

When there are troubles to go through
We'll find a way to start anew
There is comfort in the knowledge
That home's about its people too
So we'll build our dreams together
Just like we've done before
Just like the river which brings us life
There'll always be Singapore

And there is someone I need to meet

My Lovely Goddaughter, Kai En (凯恩)*, whom I have yet to meet in real life

*Extremely honoured to have the privileged to be involved in the naming process..

恩 [ēn] benevolence: disposition to do good; act of kindness

感恩 [gǎn ēn] gratitude: thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness

[August 2016] Better late than Never

It is time to say goodbye. This is the final lap of the training at KCL. In the midst of all the craziness, I took an afternoon to think about what I wanted to put up for my last entry for the reflective diary. I thought about the viva prep (what type of therapist I was, am and will be?), looked through the entries from Sept 2014 till July 2016, and sat with a freshly brewed coffee.

Where do I begin?

Starting off to London in 2014, I was ambitious. Ambivalent about starting a new journey but the goal was clear. I wanted to learn whatever there is about family therapy and bring them back home. I left Singapore because I felt inadequate in my practice with family. So the natural course of action for me was to acquire further skills and knowledge. There must be a set of skills out there that I can use in my work with families. There must be some answers out there for me to seek out. So have I achieve my goal?

I guess not. And I am glad that I have not achieved my goal and possibly never will. If I have acquire everything I need to know about family therapy, what is left of my curiosity? Can I still be collaborative if I already know "what to do" with clients? Now, I dread thinking about the day where I stop questioning.

Looking at at two years worth of entries, I think somewhere down the road, I had evolved. The first year, the bulk of my entries was focused on techniques, theories, getting it right, doing it right. The mission was clear. Know it all (or at least as much as possible).

I did not realised it until I started reading the entries for the second year. Not that I no longer bother myself with techniques or methods, but I think what I spent a lot more time thinking were who I was, how I was responding, how I practice (versus what techniques I practice) etc. I have been pursuing the essence of practising systemically. My personal and professional life this year had changed me so much unconsciously that I think I had learnt to let go of things; letting go of certainty. And being more comfortable with uncertainty. Paradoxically, when I started to let go of the need to control, I feel better, I do better and in turn, I am in better control.

I think systemic work is very much an experiential process. We can learn all the techniques that great family therapists have devised and practice till we are so fluent in them. But I suppose the crux for me is whether I have embraced what systemic meant for me. To me, it is a sense of being. It reminded me of the experience I had when I first acquainted myself with the idea of empathy in counselling work in my early 20s. I remembered us going through empathy building techniques where we practised, "You feel.. because..". It worked for a while I guess; until one day, I felt such an intense ache in my chest area when I encountered a client who was sharing about her difficult past and it hit me that that was empathy. That, possibly is how I felt towards systemic work. I think I am starting to understand what it meant to be systemic.

It has been a year filled with loads of ups and downs. It was difficult. Really difficult. Even thinking about it right now shudders me. But I think I have survived through it all. As cliche as it is, I guess whatever that doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I think I am ready to go home.